The Sunk Cost Fallacy and Other Notions of Confusion

Why is adulting so hard? One idea I've been wrestling with is the sunk-cost fallacy. This is apparently a thing in economics - it's when you believe that you have invested so much in something or someone that you might as well go all-in or double-down. I'm not sure if this works at all. How do you know when to lean in and when to pull back, my clients ask again and again. I have learned that in yoga, you seek the edge where too much is pain and not enough is not trying. This helps too.

I think the answer is self-knowledge and self-compassion. If you can trust yourself and your body to give you correct data, then you can notice, attune and course correct. If you're just throwing everything at the wall and seeing what sticks, you may want to re-group. If this sounds very frantic and confusing, welcome to my life. I have done this so many times I can't imagine not doing it. And yet maybe I'm misguided?

If you're starting to ask yourself why am I putting all my eggs in this basket when there is nothing good coming back, then it might be a good time for a pause, a re-set or a new direction. I guess it's when you're so sick of bad results, you have no choice but to try something new. How bad could it get?

• The sunk-cost fallacy dictates (from Oxford dictionary): the phenomenon whereby a person is reluctant to abandon a strategy or course of action because they have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial.

Is there a part of me that wants to gamble? Increase my odds? Of course! Wouldn't it be exciting if I worked my whole life for something and then it came to fruition? My father used to say, "It's no accident I published a best-seller; I've been in the book space for 50 years." We would like that to make sense. It's supposed to make sense. But even as I type I wonder why he never realized he should right the ship when print went digital. We are taught to persevere! But according to (https://thedecisionlab.com/biases/the-sunk-cost-fallacy) especially in relationships, it may be time to go.

• "Sunk cost fallacy'' is a well-known psychological bias where people get too attached to the status quo, and over-estimate the risks of change. In the particular case of relationships, sunk cost fallacy also refers to the societal bias that assesses longer relationships as more "successful.''

On the other hand the article goes on to say:

• Abandoning a project after committing to it and investing resources into it will likely cause negative feelings of guilt and wastefulness. Since we want to avoid negative feelings of loss, we are likely to follow through on a decision that we have invested in, even if it is not in our best interest.

So how do you know when to say enough?! I don't know. Listen keenly to your inner wisdom, slow down, ask an objective listener, let the answer come in a deep and thoughtful way. Trust in your feelings and sensations but also trust in logic. Yes, I actually used that word. I have been married to a lawyer for nearly 33 years. Logic is not to be overlooked. I have learned the hard way that thinking things through is extremely powerful. Go after your dreams, pursue and commit, but don't rely on magic to get to the other side.