This is my rap about that: there is always going to be someone with a bazillion times more than you (houses, cars, vacations); and someone who has so much less that he or she lives with 10 other people in a 2 bedroom apartment in Queens. Income equality is what we should strive for, not envy or greed. We have no control over how others live. And you know as well as I do that ALL families have issues (cue: Tolstoy). It’s normal for parents to bicker or siblings to compete. Let’s normalize that some people live their lives more out-loud than others. Pix of exotic vacations in no way correlate with actual happiness. Many studies have shown that inner peace is the best place to cultivate balance and equanimity, not outer showmanship. Schadenfreude (pleasure derived by someone from another person's misfortune), a crazy word meaning wishing someone ill, is probably not good for our spiritual growth. But I have certainly had the thought, Why doesn’t it rain on her vacation -- instead of mine for a change??!! Give yourself a break for being human. Envy is a human emotion that most people experience at some point. “It's characterized by feelings of discontent, longing, or covetousness towards someone else's advantages, achievements, possessions, or qualities. For example, you might feel envy if you see someone get promoted, win an award, or have a beautiful holiday” (https://www.vox.com/even-better/23292282/harness-envy-jealousy-motivation). You can try to motivate yourself for these experiences, and plan something for yourself that’s unusual or on your bucket list. The envy might be more likely about a friend doing things that align with what you want to do. It presses that button. I like to post on social media as a kind of journal of my life, rather than showing off. But FOMO is hurtful for girls especially and there are legitimate reasons behind that. We are always comparing, and girls are on their phones around twice as much as boys. So the missing out can sting when it’s right in your face. One of my clients was excluded from her “after-prom” by her core friend group. How awful is that? Wish them well and focus on the things you can change. I have taken some big risks to be happy. You can too.
Kommentare